| (no subject) |
[Sep. 30th, 2008|10:18 pm] |
| [ | Emotion |
| |  optimistic | ] |
I always end up falling for the horrible guys haha.
and I fall too fast for my own brain to catch up.
oops.
:) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 11th, 2008|02:05 am] |
| [ | Emotion |
| |  stressed | ] |
I miss my best friend.
Tony has a good heart, and even though not everyone sees it I do.
He may be an asshole to people or get a bit obnoxious when a lot of people are around, but when it's just him and I he is one of my favorite people to be around.
It just sucks that he lives in a different city. Yeah, it's only like an hour and a half to drive up to see him, but I miss being able to see him daily.
It just sucks, a lot. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 3rd, 2008|03:02 am] |
| [ | Emotion |
| |  disappointed | ] |
This is bullshit.
Now that I'm single, he's got a girlfriend.
It would have been easier if I was able to get a hold of him more often.
Besides, I'm horrible at speaking up. |
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| I like to be anonymous. |
[Jun. 25th, 2008|04:24 am] |
Again, here we go.
10 people who will remain unnamed, and one thing I would like to say to them.
1. I'm so glad you've come back into my life, because to tell you the truth... I have continued to like you this whole time. I'm afraid to admit to it though.
2. I listen to the things you say indirectly to the public. You're becoming fucking ridiculous and ruining your life, and I'm glad you're not a part of my life anymore because I would probably be going down right next to you if I hadn't grown up and gotten away from that crowd.
3. I've made the biggest mistake and I'm sorry... but I don't want to look weak... yet I will end up crawling back to you quite sooner than you think. I just have some things to take care of.
4. I lied when I told you I wanted to be with you too. I just thought it sounded right at the moment... and you told me I looked into your eyes like I love you... I was honestly about to fall asleep and I wasn't even looking into your eyes.
5. You can tell me not to fall for you as much as you want, but it already happened a while ago.
6. You bore me and you have no personality, and that's why I don't talk to you.
7. I think you're a big ol sweetheart but I hate hanging out with you because you only do one thing every single day and night... it gets old and I don't want to be around it, and you end up pressuring me.
8. I blame you. You're the reason I do things I never would have done before in my life. Sometimes I hate you for it, sometimes I love you for it.
9. I think it's hilarious what you're doing. You tell me you miss me, I'm sure it's a complete fucking lie. You'll always be a piece of shit and I'm still waiting for the day you show up telling me you still love me. She would DEFINITELY break up with you then.
10. I'm so glad I met you. You're such an asshole, and at the beginning our relationship is weird, but we've developed one of the strongest friendships I have ever had. I just miss you right now and I can't wait until you come back to me and I can continue seeing you whenever the hell I feel like. Because lately I've missed having a shoulder to cry on... |
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| My thoughts never flow correctly... |
[Jun. 23rd, 2008|04:23 am] |
| [ | Emotion |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | Tunes |
| | Jason Michael Carroll - I Can Sleep When I'm Dead | ] |
I don't sleep anymore honestly.
I spend my nights hanging out with mostly the same people.
Sometimes they're people who don't give a shit about me, sometimes they're people who I don't give a shit about, either way it doesn't matter anyway.
Then I end up driving all over town, taking people home and running around to see everyone at everyone else's house all in the course of 3 hours.
And the rest of the night I sit at home and organize random parts of the house... or stare mindlessly at the computer or TV.
I always have too much shit on my mind and I never want to sit and actually process it. I've gotten into the habit of ignoring my feelings and thoughts.
Besides... half of the things I think or say these days are worthless, I'm pretty sure my IQ lowers on a daily basis due to the idiots I have to listen to all day.
I haven't had an actual intelligent conversation in ages... and if I try, I end up just ranting because no one says anything else so I continue to speak meaninglessly.
I guess the truth is I've stopped caring for almost everything.
And the few things I do care about, I wish I didn't.
I'm too complicated and a bit cold hearted. |
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